So many things has changed since then, everything rushing to the closure of another chapter in my life.
I wonder, how many chapters would there be at the end of my book?
It's so hard to imagine the future now... it's pretty much a desolate landscape out there...
What do I truly want in life?
Today, Christmas day is the last day of my 15 month stint in Mediacorp.
Suffice to say, even for the last few weeks, I've woken up at night in cold sweat, thinking that there was something I have not done concerning work.
I want to be good... truly, really good at something...
Something which I can be proud of about myself...
But every corner I see, there is another mountain to climb, another river to cross...
... sigh...
May 11I'm here to build my portfolio. To ensure my success for a future that seems so bleak.
Upcoming Projects
1) Lose To Win Season 2
2) The Winning Post
3) Badminton Opens
4) Commonwealth Games 2010
5) Youth Olympics, Singapore 2010
6) Aviv Swimming Meet
7) Formula One, Singapore
8) Asian Games, Guangzhou 2010
By the end of this year, I vow to have all 8 projects completed successfully on my portfolio...
This I've completed
1) Lose To Win Season 22) The Winning Post
3) Li-Ning Badminton Open 2010
4) Delhi Commonwealth Games 2010
5) The Inaugural Youth Olympics, Singapore 2010
6) Sports@SG - Asian Games Special
7) Formula One, Singapore Night Race 2010
8) Asian Games, Guangzhou 2010
It's quite good actually, and I amaze myself as to how I actually managed to do finish something like that.
It was seriously not easy... and I tried to give up countless times for a better life.
But, persevered I did....
I wonder will this portfolio be any good...
I made so many good friends in Mediacorp, so many people whom are genuinely good hearted and helpful... and of course, there are nasty people as well, but work is work and I always separate work from personal grudges as much as possible.
As of now, I have a full 2 years of experience working in the media.
Will it help?
Only the future will tell...
I try to think that what I'm doing is securing my life.. but really, I do know better...
I'm a monster trying to win another monster inside me..
Like an endless vicious cycle of perfection, nothing will ever prove to be enough for me...
Everything - perfect.
It'll probably destroy me one day... but I really feel that I won't be able to take it if I have to hand up a blank report to my Father one day.
A trillion billion human souls, what am I to offer?
... It's a cold, stormy Christmas evening....
... This year has proven to be far more stormy...
And, I've managed to pull through...
... haha.. can't believe it myself...
So happy I could cry...
It's over, Andrew... dispel your nightmares, rest your soul. Make peace with yourself.
You've done well.
I dedicate this year to Jesus, on His birthday... because He did answer my prayer after all.
2010.
This chapter closes,
and the next one opens.
AUSTRALIA.
